Friar Cous Cous

Trussed-up in a wartime bandage-suit...

Monday, May 23, 2005

Looking Back To...The 20th Century


1993 Herbie scrapped for £50.

1979 Peter Sutcliffe gets a new lorry.

1972 Palestinian terrorists seize nine hostages in a hangar at Beirut airport and refuse to release them until they are each provided with a promotional advance copy of the new Can album, 'Ege Bamyasi'.

1963 British secret agents foil a plot by the Kremlin to blow up the 19th Century in order to knock the supporting bricks out of western industrialism and neo-imperialism.

1957 Sexual fantasies decriminalised by the Court of Appeal. In addition, it becomes a criminal offence to accuse someone of having a sexual fantasy based solely on their facial expression.

1940 The term 'knob-chocolate' first coined.

1931 Only another fourteen years or so until Hitler's death.

1928 Just over thirty-nine years since Hitler was born.

1918 'Can We Stop Digging Now?' tops UK charts.

1917 Jean-Marie le Tallec's unread masterpiece 'Des Tranchées à la Manche' burned at the stake on the eve of its scheduled publication.

1916 'Somme Guys Have All The Luck' tops UK charts on the eve of the Battle of Albert.

1915 Mudgard Kipling's epic poem 'McWhirter the Deserter' knighted by HRH McQueen.

1914 Subterranean beer pipe project erupts into bitter arguments over alleged discrepancies between French and German construction standards. Within days the Germans have set up a parallel trench which they say must eventually house the pipe. Tetchiness spills over into guns and, with British help, the myth of the World's First Great Trenches One is born.

1914 Major European powers dismiss proposals for a Great Wall of Europe in favour of installing a massive subterranean beer pipe from the Belgian coast down through France to the Swiss border. Work commences on digging the trench into which the pipe is to be laid.

1901 On the eve of her death, Queen Victoria marries the Beast of Bodmin Moor in a spooky candlelit ceremony on the site of your current home.

1900 I vanish.

4 Comments:

Blogger nutgroist said...

1995: Herbie Rides Again

10:52 am  
Blogger DJ Councillor Gyro Kredit said...

Herbie scrapped. '93 really was the year all that sort of shit happened.

You may also note that '93 was more greyscaled than either year to either sode of that year, yearly in yearnits. Less colour all round, presumably becasue colour was so expensive at that time.

10:27 pm  
Blogger DJ Councillor Gyro Kredit said...

Either sode? Becasue?

I am becoming that policeman from Allo Allo.

10:30 pm  
Blogger nutgroist said...

That's unfair, Gyro. you're funny, but not THAT funny

2:50 pm  

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